Why Can't They?

Can asking questions make things better?

Opinion page by Duane Alan Hahn.

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Page Table of Contents


Why can't they make a Jelly Belly taste as good on the inside as it does on the outside?

Why can't a Jelly Belly have the same flavor inside? A thin layer of yummy wrapped around a disgusting glob of yuck is not good enough. Why does a Jelly Belly need to have a nasty, semi-flavorless center? How much would the price go up if the inside of a Jelly Belly had the same flavor as the outside?






Why can't they make towels and washcloths without a strip or stripe?

Seems like it's getting harder to find a towel or washcloth that doesn't have a fancy, barren stripe because artsy-fartsy/pretentious/self-important designers have delusions that the public cares about their idiotic designs. I just want absorbent towels and sturdy washcloths that don't have useless, barren, sandpaper-like stripes taking up valuable space. Maybe towel and washcloth designers are formless, energy ball aliens from another dimension, so they don't understand how human skin works.


When searching for what these strips or stripes are called, search results will provide words such as dobby, Lurex, and embroidery. A sculpted towel can have little barren stripes all over the entire thing. Some hand towels and dish towels have huge appliqu├ęs on them, making the towels pretty, but useless.





The Good and the Bad

Negative ions are good for us. You might want to avoid positive ion generators and ozone generators. Whenever I need a new air cleaner (with negative ion generator), I buy it from A plain old air cleaner is better than nothing, but one that produces negative ions makes the air in a room fresher and easier to breathe. It also helps to brighten my mood.

Never litter. If you can't find a trash can, take it home and throw it away there.

Hydrofracking is bad for you, your family, your friends, and the environment.

Some people appear to have a mental illness because they have a vitamin B deficiency. I take B-Right.

Unfermented soy is bad! “When she stopped eating soy, the mental problems went away.”

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