Ulterior Interior: Asperger's Syndrome

Part two of three parts by Duane Alan Hahn.

I created these Ulterior Interior pages in case they might help someone. I get an ignorant troll or two making fun of me because of these pages once in a while, but it seems like these pages help others more than they hurt me, so I'll keep them up. Some of the things I mention about my memory and AS may not have anything to do with Asperger's Syndrome. Since I only know what it's like to have my brain, I listed everything I thought might be helpful. I tried to keep out what I've heard is commonly shared by most people.

In the Beginning

My family slowly realized that I had some kind of problem, especially around the time I was eight years old. We've had many possible answers from doctors over the years: There was nothing wrong with me, possible minimal brain damage, possible learning disabilities, maybe ADD, or it could be depression.

In the middle of July 1999, a family friend read an article about Asperger's Syndrome in the paper and it seemed to describe me so she showed us the article. We looked up information about Asperger's at the library and on the Internet and it seemed that my problems were closer to Asperger's than anything else we've found. We thought maybe now we could finally get some real answers instead of the uninformed ramblings of supposed educated doctors and other professionals.

After I found out about Asperger's, I called two psychologists who tested me in the past and I asked them if they thought I had Asperger's. One never heard of it and the other one heard of it but didn't believe in it. He actually believes that it's a fake disorder made up by doctors trying to make more money.

I finally got tested in 2001 and they said that "such behaviors and pattern of skills are consistent with the diagnosis of high functioning autism/Asperger's syndrome to a mild degree."

When I was 2 years old, I slipped while running at my aunt's house and hit the upper back of my head on her hard terrazzo floor (polished marble and cement). I still have a flat spot from that fall. I've been told that fall could have caused my Asperger's Syndrome and the depth perception problems. Judging by where the flat spot is and what I have found on the Internet, it seems the injury was to my parietal lobe.

It seems the sensitivity I have to many things mentioned below has something to do with sensory defensiveness which includes tactile defensiveness, oral defensiveness, visual defensiveness, auditory defensiveness, and olfactory defensiveness.

The rest of this page describes some of the problems I've experienced in case it's helpful in some way.

Brain Glue

When I was around four years old, I noticed that I had the problem of staring at a wall and not being able to move. I wanted to get up and go do something but it was like I was frozen. I estimate that it would last from a few minutes to a half an hour. I did it less as I got older and now it hardly ever happens.

Understanding Speech

When I was younger, if someone said something I didn't understand because they said it in a different musical pattern than I was used to, I would sometimes ask them to repeat it a few times before giving up and pretending to understand them. I still pretend to understand people sometimes, especially with strangers because I've learned that most people hate it when you don't understand them.

Sensitivity to Sounds and Smells

I have always been distracted by sounds coming from everywhere. I can hear things and smell things that most people can't. Many stores especially in the 1980s used some kind of fluorescent lighting in their jewelry cases that made me want to scream. It felt like it was drilling a hole in my brain. Not many stores use that kind of lighting now, but sometimes there still will be some old store using it.

I have allergies and smells bother me more than the average person. I can also smell when something is getting moldy or musty a long time before most other people can.

Many times get headaches, lung pains, and sometimes nosebleeds from things like perfume, smoke, mold, cut grass, some flowers and weeds, and cleaning products.

I also have to breathe air that is as cold as possible. I can breath the best when I stick my face in the freezer when it's blowing cold air.

Sensitivity to Touch

I can feel when a fly lands anywhere on my skin including the hair on my head. I hate to touch certain types of paper, cardboard, Styrofoam, and unfinished wood. I also don't like touching dry human skin. (For any ignorant scumbag trolls out there, I did not say I was afraid of any of that stuff. I said I hate to touch them.) I can only wear clothing that is at least fifty percent cotton. I also can't stand wool and turtlenecks. And as you would expect, I don't like people to touch me.

Crowds

I like the energy and lights of malls, amusement parks and places like that (with all of the people walking around and doing stuff) but I don't like being noticed and having to interact with people. If I could be invisible, that would be great.

Memory Asperger's Syndrome Eyesight